When good excuses go bad
You know you're a nurse when ...
Even when forgetting they asked off for that day and, though you tried, you just couldn't accommodate their request. Or what about the wild rationale why someone suddenly can't do her assignment that day and you just want to shout, "Seriously?!"
I'm not talking about the legitimate stuff here. I'm talking about the "dog ate my homework" kind of garbage from people who don't even have a dog! Such as: "I'm sorry, Mrs. Vance, but on the way home from my vacation, my radiator busted so I had to stay there for a few days while it got fixed.” Well, gee Julie, first of all, you don't own a car and second I thought you took the train to Atlanta. "Ummm, yeah I did take the train down but I rented a car to come back.” Julie, you don't know how to drive. "Ummm, yeah, that's why the radiator broke!” (Banging head on wall here.)
Or how about this one a friend told me about. She actually got a call out from staff due to her dog needing an emergency tooth cleaning. What?! Emergency tooth cleaning! OMG!
I have one friend who has gotten to the point where she asks the people calling out what their symptoms are. He just likes to hear some people squirm as they have to make up stuff on the spot.
Or, how about this story that happened to me years ago. A female employee actually said this at the hearing after she filed for unemployment for being terminated. I mean, I was there, kids. I know she walked off the job and abandoned her assignment.
She told me, "I don't want those residents.” I told her she took a float position. Some days you get to work where you like, other days not so much. But that is what the float position is. We discussed this BEFORE she took the position. I reminded her: “You wanted to switch to the 7-3 shift and this was the only way I could do that for YOU."
"Then I'm going home,” she said. If you have to leave, I have to fire you, I responded.
She said (with major attitude), "Do what you have to do. I'm out of here.” So there we are at the hearing with a male examiner and he asks her if she had a good reason why she could not take her assignment. She looks this man straight in the eyes — I swear I am not making this up — and says, "I was ovulating!"
What's worse, is that he had no idea what "ovulating" was but it scared him so badly, he granted her unemployment benefits. Hmmm, maybe I should try that excuse sometime: "Hey, Honey, I couldn't do the laundry because I was ovulating. You'll have to do it!"
So I'm dying to know what some of the craziest, funniest, oddest call-outs or refusal excuses you have received are. Please use the comment area below and share.
This should be fun. (And, remember, no weak excuses why you can't take part!)
Keeping it real!
The Real Nurse Jackie is written by Jacqueline Vance, RNC, CDONA/LTC — a real life long-term care nurse who is also the director of clinical affairs for the American Medical Directors Association. A nationally respected nurse educator and past national LTC Nurse Administrator of the Year, she also is an accomplished stand-up comedienne. She has not starred in her own national television series — yet.