Things I Think

Things I Think by Gary Tetz

Salvation by social media

I always thought it was only good for destroying the world, but now I’m here to boldly predict that social media will ultimately save us.  After the horrors we’ve been through these past few years with Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, you probably didn’t see that hypothesis coming. But here’s how it’s going to happen: by…

Just a box

It’s just a box. Not that different from the one that will probably show up on your doorstep or mine today, maybe stuffed with holiday gifts or toilet paper. So why am I feeling a little choked up standing here staring at it?  This wave of sudden emotion makes no sense. Usually I associate a…

Moment of truth

Now that vaccines really are imminent and long-term care staff and residents look to be first in line, you’re probably holding your breath, desperately longing for an answer to the most important question of all: What does Gary Tetz think I should do?  That’s completely normal. I’m what the kids call an influencer, so it…

Paul Revere rides again

Where is Paul Revere when we need him? It seems like he should be racing through every hamlet and long-term care facility in America shrieking, “The vaccine is coming! The vaccine is coming!”

A bear of very little brain

I can’t tell you the peace I feel from setting aside the unknowns of the election and the incomprehensible intricacies of delivering vaccines to long-term care facilities to consider our economic future.

You’ve got a friend

Sometimes I have to stretch to recite something joyful to share from the past week, as is requested at one of our regular work meetings. But this week, the task was easy.

Get up, Bambi

At this point, we dare not muse aloud about what else could possibly go wrong in 2020. It’s no longer about the second shoe dropping. We appear to be dealing with an evil centipede who still has at least 98 more.

What the fires can’t destroy

With a pandemic continuing unabated, and now hurricanes, floods and wildfires ravaging large swaths of the nation, I don’t know how many more apocalyptic horsemen the long-term care profession is slated to face or can withstand.

Exhale, with love

How are those masks working out for you? My glasses are as perpetually fogged as a car windshield after prom, and I do enjoy sounding like Charlie Brown’s teacher.

Quoth the Raven

I consider it an ominous omen. Yesterday on my walk, I was attacked by a crow — three times. Or it might have been a raven. I can’t tell the difference.

Bad news for bald administrators

It turns out there might be one type of administrator who is more personally susceptible to this vile virus now plaguing humanity than any other.

The incredible shrinking brain

For those of you seeking a different coping path through this pandemic, might I suggest walking, gardening, swimming or dancing. I say this because a new preliminary study suggests that people who do those things regularly have bigger brains.

Masks change everything

Now that small respiratory droplets created by human speech have been found to hang out in the air for more than eight minutes, requiring masks in long-term care and any other setting where people congregate seems like a no-brainer.

Coping with COVID-19, the beard and Chuck Norris

While long-term care workers I’ve interviewed have been grateful and positive during the COVID-19 pandemic, my coping mechanisms could be considered somewhat less constructive and helpful.

Time to end this handshake insanity

To shake someone’s hand is to say, “I don’t know much about you, but I choose to embrace every bad hygienic choice you’ve made today.”

Courage is contagious

Facility staff have no idea if catching COVID-19 will be merely an annoyance or a life-threatening battle, a parking ticket or a death sentence. But still, they go.

Bad news on the doorstep

Compared to shoppers tearing apart a pallet of toilet paper, our facility staff have been Buddhas in scrubs during the recent pandemic. But even they aren’t the most inspiring out of all of this.
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