Whatchamacallit

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You know you're a nurse when ...
You know you're a nurse when ...
Every year, the Washington Post has a Mensa Invitational where they invite readers to 1) take any word from the dictionary, 2) alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one or two letters and 3) supply a new definition.

So, of course I thought, why not do this for words we normally use in long-term care? And, please, in the comment section, how about adding some of your own contributions? This should be fun!

Regdiculous — That incredibly stupid deficiency you received because the survey team couldn't find anything substantial but they just wouldn't leave without tagging you with something

Disgustipating — When the dietician decides to try out Tofu casserole for dinner and you get stuck cleaning up the “end” results

Immpunizations — The healthcare worker staff that tries to tell you that the flu shot isn't important

Hippocondriate — Your resident who won't wear hip protectors because she thinks it makes her hips look big

Falley catheter — The indwelling catheter that just won't stay in

D-prescribing — The inability to get pain medication for you residents since no e-prescribing system exists that meets the DEA requirements

Inflatulation — When your coworker is obsessed with a gas producing food.

Mystery and quysical —  The inability to find any history note in the transfer records of your new admission and trying to quiz it all out on your own

Fermentia — Finding the food your resident with dementia hid in her room about three weeks after she horded it

Documagicmentation — A director of nursing's wishful thinking that she can magically change the horrific nursing note she just stumbled across by mental telepathy

Physiciass — That attending physician who won't return your calls because he thinks the nurses in nursing homes won't have anything of importance to tell him

OK, again, how about making up your own and adding them in the comment section below? Let's have some fun this week!

Just keeping it real (fun!)

Nurse Jackie

The Real Nurse Jackie is written by Jacqueline Vance, RNC, CDONA/LTC — a real life long-term care nurse who is also the director of clinical affairs for the American Medical Directors Association. A nationally respected nurse educator and past national LTC Nurse Administrator of the Year, she also is an accomplished stand-up comedienne. She has not starred in her own national television series — yet.

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The Real Nurse Jackie

The Real Nurse Jackie is written by Jacqueline Vance, RNC, CDONA/LTC, an APEX Award of Excellence winner for Blog Writing. Vance is a real life long-term care nurse. A nationally respected nurse educator and past national LTC Nurse Administrator of the Year, she also is an accomplished stand-up comedienne. The opinions supplied here are her own and do not necessarily reflect those of her employer or her professional affiliates.

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