My right eyelid started twitching about six months ago. Although it’s not constant, it is a daily, unwelcome annoyance.
It distracts me when I’m trying to sleep; it draws me out of the moment and into thoughts such as, “I wonder if they notice?” If I rest the weight of my finger on my right eyelid, I can feel it pushing back as if resisting my attempts to quiet the spasm. All my reading, observations and discussions with “those who know better” bring me to conclude that it’s caused by stress and fatigue.
What about you? Got stress? You don’t need me, or frankly anyone, reminding you about the last two years. And you don’t need a clairvoyant, or Dr. Fauci, or the endless barrage of 2022 predictions to convince you that this year quite possibly could be more of the same. But what you might need is a New Year’s wish of quieting your own “twitching right eyelid,” or however your stress response manifests.
In my faith tradition, we mark a different New Year, yet it holds the same hope and promise as turning December’s calendar page to January. Teshuvah, which literally means “return,” requires deep self-reflection, honest yet gentle self-assessment, and ultimately forgiveness of yourself for the times when you “missed the mark” and didn’t live up to your greatest potential. When authentically approached with genuine forgiveness — both of yourself and of others — it’s shockingly powerful.
But Teshuvah also means returning to the natural order of things — and yet, what is natural about the times we live in? And if I’m so enlightened, why is my darn eyelid still twitching?
Well, enlightened I am not. Looking back upon 2021 and setting goals for 2022, I’ve realized I completely missed the opportunity for true reflection over the past year. I’ll give myself 10 points for the untiring assiduity with which I created goals and kept lists. My response to industry and world stress was to create lists of bullet-dotted tasks for myself: work more, teach more, volunteer more, exercise more and occupy every waking moment fulfilling self-imposed duties. But in the end, busyness is not a virtue, and my eyelid still twitches. Has my busyness truly helped me be my best self?
Here is my 2022 wish, and maybe a challenge, for you. Take a beat, take a breath, and take stock. Acknowledge where you missed the mark in 2021, ask for — and offer — forgiveness, and just as importantly, forgive yourself. Clean the slate and return to the best and truest version of yourself imaginable (flaws and all!). Maybe my right eyelid and your metaphoric eyelid will stop twitching. A toast to the best possible you and a Happy New Year!
Steven Littlehale is a gerontological clinical nurse specialist and chief innovation officer at Zimmet Healthcare Services Group.
The opinions expressed in McKnight’s Long-Term Care News guest submissions are the author’s and are not necessarily those of McKnight’s Long-Term Care News or its editors.
