Do you, my beloved long-term care friends, ever review the MyChart notes after you visit your doctor? I just did, and I highly recommend it. They can be entertaining and illuminating, offering deeper insights than any therapist or personal trainer.
“Gary is an overweight, but otherwise healthy-appearing, well-groomed middle-aged male, moving about the room easily,” began one recent entry. “He walks without limp or list.” It’s pure poetry, and is how I plan to describe myself on all future dating app profiles. Also notice how unvarnished truth was delivered, but with an outer candy shell of positive affirmation? Pure genius.
Sadly, as I write that sentence, the word “positive” stands out like a mugger at a purse convention, and I suddenly realize how pervasive COVID testing has ruined its use, sullied its reputation and made it a purveyor of bad news.
Remember the good old days when you could say of your director of nursing, “Jennifer is so positive,” and intend it as nothing but a compliment? Now it just means poor, sick Jennifer will be home alone for a while.
In this time of COVID trouble, people need all the pure positivity they can get. So my new campaign is to reclaim the word for its original use, cleansing and freeing it. Therefore, I propose that the status of any person who has contracted the dreaded virus from this moment forward be referred to as “COVID-yes,” not “COVID-positive.”
For example, you might ask, “How’s Jennifer, my incredibly vital DON, without whom our whole operation would crumble?”
“Oh, bad news,” comes the reply. “She tested yes.”
That would free you to respond, as an enlightened leader who inspires with relentless optimism, “That’s unfortunate, but we’ll get through this together. Let’s just stay positive.”
And when that attention-seeking reporter questions the implications of your exploding employee testing numbers, you could answer, “It’s true, we have a few yesses right now. But the good news is that my staff positivity rate is 100%, and we’re still delivering the great care we always have.”
See how this one simple shift in language could transform your whole mindset, the culture of your facility and its reputation?
I’m not just somewhat certain of that. I’m positive.
