Having my say: Try these new words
You know you're a nurse when ...
Every year, the Washington Post has a Mensa Invitational where they invite readers to 1) take any word from the dictionary, 2) alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one or two letters and 3) supply a new definition.
So, of course I thought, why not do this for words we normally use in long-term care? I'll bet you can think of a few of your own.
Regdiculous — That incredibly stupid deficiency you received because the survey team couldn't find anything substantial but they just wouldn't leave without tagging you with something
Disgustipating — When the dietitian tries out Tofu casserole for dinner and you get stuck cleaning up the “end” results
Immpunizations — The healthcare worker who tries to tell you that the flu shot isn't important
Hippocondriate — Your resident who won't wear hip protectors because she thinks it makes her hips look big
Falley catheter — The indwelling catheter that just won't stay in
D-prescribing — The inability to get pain medication for your residents since no e-prescribing system exists that meets the DEA requirements
Inflatulation — When your coworker is obsessed with a gas- producing food
Mystery and quysical — The inability to find any history note in the transfer records of your new admission and trying to quiz it all out on your own
Fermentia — Finding the food your resident with dementia hid in her room about three weeks after she hoarded it
Documagicmentation — A director of nursing's wishful thinking that she can magically change the horrific nursing note she just stumbled across by mental telepathy
Physiciass — That attending physician who won't return your calls because he thinks the nurses in nursing homes won't have anything of importance to tell him
OK, now it's time to make up your own and send them along to email@example.com!
Just keeping it real (fun!),
— Nurse Jackie