Having my say: Try these new words

Share this content:
You know you're a nurse when ...
You know you're a nurse when ...
EDITOR'S NOTE: see more “The Real Nurse Jackie” blog posts at www.mcknights.com.

Every year, the Washington Post has a Mensa Invitational where they invite readers to 1) take any word from the dictionary, 2) alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one or two letters and 3) supply a new definition.
So, of course I thought, why not do this for words we normally use in long-term care? I'll bet you can think of a few of your own.

Regdiculous — That incredibly stupid deficiency you received because the survey team couldn't find anything substantial but they just wouldn't leave without tagging you with something

Disgustipating — When the dietitian tries out Tofu casserole for dinner and you get stuck cleaning up the “end” results

Immpunizations — The healthcare worker who tries to tell you that the flu shot isn't important

Hippocondriate — Your resident who won't wear hip protectors because she thinks it makes her hips look big

Falley catheter — The indwelling catheter that just won't stay in

D-prescribing — The inability to get pain medication for your residents since no e-prescribing system exists that meets the DEA requirements

Inflatulation — When your coworker is obsessed with a gas- producing food

Mystery and quysical — The inability to find any history note in the transfer records of your new admission and trying to quiz it all out on your own

Fermentia — Finding the food your resident with dementia hid in her room about three weeks after she hoarded it

Documagicmentation — A director of nursing's wishful thinking that she can magically change the horrific nursing note she just stumbled across by mental telepathy

Physiciass — That attending physician who won't return your calls because he thinks the nurses in nursing homes won't have anything of importance to tell him

OK, now it's time to make up your own and send them along to ltcnews@mltcn.com!

Just keeping it real (fun!),
— Nurse Jackie