You know you're a nurse when ...

This past summer, Medscape had an article titled “The Top 15 books for Nurses.” Frankly, while I found a bunch of them interesting, they were “heavy” reads and not the self-help books I thought would have been on their summer “must-have” list.

I’ve been thinking about writing some books of my own and thought I would share what my “Top 10” list would look like.

1.  “Getting to Yes While Making Them Think It Was Their Idea.”  This is a great book on teaching nurses how to get what they need for their patients while making the practitioners think it was their idea in the first place. A must read for new nurses and veterans alike.

2.  “How to Survive on 12 Cups of Coffee a Day.” It’s amazing what you can get done when you’re only able to grab a cup of Joe on the run. Read real life testimonials from nurses who can accomplish an amazing number of things while “jacked-up” on caffeine.

3.  “Multi-Tasking – 101 Ways to Do 101 Tasks at the Same Time.” Too many priorities and not enough time to do them. Sorry that you’re not an octopus? Well, let this self-help book show you how to accomplish 20 hours of work in an eight-hour shift. (You may want to read “How to Survive on 12 Cups of Coffee a Day” first.)

4.  “Night Shift–When it Feels Like You’re at The Nursing Home at the End of The World.” 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. can be a scary world, especially when you find staff sleeping in the most bizarre places. Read the true story of a night supervisor’s survival of “NIGHT SHIFT”!

5.  “Running on Empty–Why Can’t I Ever Get a Lunch Break?” Why is it that the minute you think you can grab a meal, an emergency situation arises? This book is full of Murphy’s Law situations that happen to nurses on a daily basis!

6.  “I Don’t Do Windows: Proven Strategies for Effective Nurse-Physician Communication.” A communication handbook all nurses should get. Learn how to effectively express what your role is, and is not; and what you should expect from the physician in return.

7.  “Eating Your Young: A Story of Nurse Mentoring.” (This one needs no explanation, does it?!)

8.  “There’s a Thermometer in My Pocket; Where Did I Leave My Pen? And Other Things You should Never Say Aloud.” This is a “laugh-out-loud” account of things nurses have said — but probably never should have — during a typical long day.

9.  “Notes on Nursing: Why Documentation is the Bane of Every DON’s Existence.” Ever read a note like, “Patient found face down on floor in pool of blood,” or, “This writer told resident not to talk to this writer in such a matter that uses foul words and resident told this writer to ‘bleep’ off, which upset this writer,” and other cringe-worthy notes? This is a collection of the winners of the 2012 “Documentation to Die For” contest.

10.  “It’s Not Sexy and I know it–Why the Media’s Portrayal of Nurses is Just Plain Stupid.”  Why do the media feel the need to portray nurses as sex objects that are good only for holding medical charts while the show’s stars hit on them? Read about fierce, smart, loyal, awesome real-life nurses who make a difference in someone’s life every day. Oh, that would be you!

Would be some interesting reading. I am sure you can come up with some great titles of your own. Please share them in the comment section below.

Just keeping it real,

Nurse Jackie

The Real Nurse Jackie is written by Jacqueline Vance, RNC, CDONA/LTC, a 2012 APEX Award of Excellence winner for Blog Writing. Vance is a real life long-term care nurse who is also the director of clinical affairs for the American Medical Directors Association. A nationally respected nurse educator and past national LTC Nurse Administrator of the Year, she also is an accomplished stand-up comedienne. She has not starred in her own national television series — yet.