John O’Connor

Nursing homes have long been the target of animus, ridicule and easy laughs.

To get a decent look at what’s behind Door Number 3, please allow me to direct your attention to an article appearing last week in The Onion.

The headline of the story in question probably tells you all you need to know: “Nursing Home CEO Afraid He’ll End Up In One Of Those Places He Owns.”

Thankfully, the piece is short. But it’s anything but sweet. Here’s the set-up for the fictional news item: Nursing home CEO Robert Gallegro tells reporters why he’d never want to end up in one of his communities.

“I’ve overseen the terrible way they treat people in my nursing homes, and it’s just horrific.” The fictional character claims from, of all places, a dateline of a very non-fictional place called Kennett Square, PA. They’re clearly not just mindlessly shooting from the hip at the spoof newspaper.

Then there’s this: “At press time, Gallegro was reportedly making plans to open a few more nursing homes to ensure he had enough money not to end up in one of them.”

What’s my reaction? In a word, mixed.

On the one hand, the Onion is a comedy outlet. And there is some ironic humor to be had here. Besides, there are surely more than a few nursing home owners and CEOs out there who share a similar sentiment.

But if the humor writers at the Onion want to satirize healthcare providers, why stop there? Among a few other obvious targets:

•  “Nonprofit” hospital CEOs who gouge patients and other payers, while pocketing millions each year.

•  Surgeons who line up patients assembly-line style for dubious or unnecessary procedures.

•  Insurers who routinely deny coverage for clearly covered episodes.

•  Drug companies that lean on docs to meet monthly prescription quotas, regardless of real need.

The list goes on, but you get the idea. When it comes to shady practices, nursing homes hardly stand alone. Yet they are far and away the preferred target.

So how do we level the playing field a bit?

Part of the solution, frankly, is that the industry must stop doing things that undermine public confidence. For examples, simply Google “nursing homes.”

Part of the solution, too, is an aching need for better public relations. The field simply needs to do a better job of convincing the outside world — and not just key lawmakers — that it can be trusted.

Until those two things happen, guess who’ll pay for all the cheap laughs?

John O’Connor is Editorial Director for McKnight’s