Everyone who knows me knows I love “Dad” jokes. The sillier the better. Sometimes a stupid joke is just what we need for a “pick-me-up.” (Especially since drinking vodka at work typically is a career-limiting opportunity! Just saying …)
So I searched for some of the best “pick-me-ups” I could find because I don’t know about you, but I’ve pretty much had it with 2020. I bet if that movie “Back to the Future” were real, Dr. Emmett Brown would be saying, “Marty, whatever you do, don’t go to the year 2020!”
So here goes. And I am begging you, if you have any other good onefs, please add them to the comment section below. Let’s just have a smile for a while, OK?
Nurse to doctor: “There’s a man in the waiting room who thinks he is invisible.”
Doctor: “Tell him I can’t see him.”
Doctor to nurse: “How is the child who swallowed a few quarters doing?”
Nurse: “No change.”
Did you know that statistically, 9 out of 10 injections are in vein?
PMS jokes are not funny. Period.
Did you hear about the guy who had his entire left side cut off?
He’s all right now.
I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forget how it goes.
I don’t find medical puns funny anymore since I developed an irony deficiency.
You should always be kind to nurses. Remember that they choose your catheter size.
Why did the nurse go to art school?
So, he could learn to draw blood.
The local hospital hired a Roman nurse. Complications arose when the IV was issued to bed No. 4.
A nurse working during a COVID outbreak died and went to hell. It took him two weeks to realize he was dead!
A psych patient who believes he is invisible becomes critically ill and is sent to the hospital.
He wakes up and asks a nurse, “Where am I?”
She says, “ICU.”
He says, “No, you don’t.”
A SNF director of nursing, a post-acute nurse and a field epidemiologist walk into a bar.
Just kidding. Trick question. They … don’t … ever … get … out!
Just keeping it real (silly)
The Real Nurse Jackie is written by Jacqueline Vance, RNC, CDONA/LTC, Senior Director of Clinical Innovation and Education for Mission Health Communities, LLC and an APEX Award of Excellence winner for Blog Writing. Vance is a real-life long-term care nurse. A nationally respected nurse educator and past national LTC Nurse Administrator of the Year, she also is an accomplished stand-up comedienne. The opinions supplied here are her own and do not necessarily reflect those of her employer or her professional affiliates