Oh, nursing assessment,

You’re a pain in my “end!”

If nurses would complete you,

You would be my friend.

I mean, they’re really not that hard,

Though they may be many.

Just divide and concur,

Less work for the plenty.

Bowel and Bladder assessment?

It’s not that much to do.

Just ask your CNA.

They’ve seen the resident pee & poo!

And admission assessment,

What’s the big deal?

It will tell you an error,

And what area to fill.

You have to assign them,

Assessment by shift.

Otherwise staff will “assume”

And you won’t get “spit!” ( … You know what I mean!!)

Accountability is key,

So your nurse managers can check.

To see who has done what,

And which assessments are left.

So, let’s get them done,

They are there for a reason.

Or our UDA list will overflow

Season to season!

Just keeping it real,

Nurse Jackie

The Real Nurse Jackie is written by Jacqueline Vance, RNC, CDONA/LTC, Senior Director of Clinical Innovation and Education for Mission Health Communities, LLC and an APEX Award of Excellence winner for Blog Writing. Vance is a real-life long-term care nurse. A nationally respected nurse educator and past national LTC Nurse Administrator of the Year, she also is an accomplished stand-up comedienne. The opinions supplied here are her own and do not necessarily reflect those of her employer or her professional affiliates.