With Christmas tunes still echoing in my head, I bring you original lyrics, with special thoughts of our incredibly hard-working long-term care nursing corps in mind.

“I Heard the Call Bells on Christmas Day”
(To: “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day”)

I heard the call bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar ringing play,
And on and on the lights repeat
“I need to pee and food to eat.”

I thought how, as the day wore on,
The call bells seemed to toll along
And continue th’unbroken song
“I need to pee and food to eat.”

And in despair I bowed my head:
“I too need to pee,” I said
“My tummy’s empty,” mocks the song.
“I need to pee and food to eat.”

Then pealed the call bells louder and deep:
“You shall not pee nor shall you eat;
You are a nurse, the shift is long,”
I need to pee and food to eat.

‘Til, ringing, ringing on its way,
The world revolved from day to night
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,
“It’s now my time to pee and eat!”

The Real Nurse Jackie is written by Jacqueline Vance, RNC, CDONA/LTC, an APEX Award of Excellence winner for Blog Writing. Vance is a real life long-term care nurse. A nationally respected nurse educator and past national LTC Nurse Administrator of the Year, she also is an accomplished stand-up comedienne. She has not starred in her own national television series — yet. The opinions supplied here are her own and do not necessarily reflect those of her employer or her professional affiliates.