Gary Tetz

How widespread is the adoption of uniforms within the long-term care profession? According to a rigorous and scientific phone survey I conducted of the one nursing home administrator who would take my call this morning, they’re required of all nurses, CNAs and dietary and housekeeping staff in her building. To extrapolate that data nationally, I’ll let you do the math.

This administrator, who asked not to be identified, is a big fan of uniforms. She feels they’ve made her facility environment more professional. She thinks residents appreciate being able to instantly identify staff members. She believes employees treat each other with more respect while wearing them. She does not, however, think she should have to wear one herself, and I’ve duly notified the hypocrisy police as required by law.

On the other hand, the concept of uniforms has plenty of fervent detractors. Some see them as a philosophical attack on personal liberty and freedom. You’re going to legislate my workplace wardrobe and not let me purchase a soda larger than 16 ounces? Time to haul out my semi-automatic musket and secure the compound.

Others have more practical concerns. A New York state health care network that includes two skilled nursing facilities has created a furor by making its nurses wear white uniforms. Worries include the difficulty of keeping them clean, the haunting mental images of how nursing uniforms used to look a century or two ago and matters of style and comfort.

Personally, I actively support uniform conformity within long-term care. I’m dutifully wearing pleated khaki pants right now, which we all know are a strictly enforced global requirement for middle-aged men. And generations of mail carriers, law enforcement officers, UPS drivers and Hot Dog on a Stick purveyors can’t possibly be wrong.

Things I Think is written by Gary Tetz, who cobbles these pieces together from his secret lair somewhere near the scenic, wine-soaked hamlet of Walla Walla, WA. Since his debut with SNALF.com at the end of a previous century, he has continued to amuse, inform and sometimes befuddle long-term care readers worldwide.