Gary Tetz

It’s not necessarily a bad thing, or a good one either — kind of like Rice-A-Roni or the music of Yanni. But instant customer feedback, and the expectation of immediate response and action is where the Facebook culture is driving us, and long-term care is no exception.

That’s because these days, it’s all about Me.

Me, Me, Me.

What I think, what I did, what I want, what I demand. Why do you think they call it social me-dia?

This is a world where the customer rules, and is absolutely always right. And guess what? That’s me! At any hint of a less-than-perfect transaction or experience, I can flex my fingers, gleefully unleash a Facebook tirade and exact instant, global revenge.

I revel in my new power, in the way the tables have been turned. I relish the rush of putting a business or employee in their place, of showing them who’s truly boss and getting my way. And I don’t regret anything I say, ever, though I do feel a bit bad for the butterflies that used to flap their wings and cause a cataclysm on the other side of the world. Now that’s my job.

So here’s a free little nugget of advice for every long-term care facility owner or administrator. You must embrace the inevitable, now, by retrofitting your building for survival in this new, me-driven environment.

That’s not as difficult as it sounds. You’ll simply need to follow Facebook’s lead and put a “Like” button on one side of every resident bed, and a “Dislike” button on the other. Then do the same thing in every therapy room, on the arms of wheelchairs, at each dining table and in the palms of every family member. Only then can you give me, the almighty customer, the instant power I so richly deserve over the services you provide and the people you employ.

For instance, if I’m happy with Marge, the med aide, I’ll “Like” her. If I didn’t care for her attitude this morning, I’ll whack “Dislike” and expect her to be fired. Instantly and literally, since that button could even be connected to an ejection system that would land her in the parking lot with her walking papers.

And by the way, don’t try to beat the system with any funny stuff, such as making that “Dislike” button smaller or harder to reach. Resistance is futile against the most awesome force this planet has ever seen — the Power of Me.

Things I Think is written by Gary Tetz, who cobbles these pieces together from his secret lair somewhere near the scenic, wine-soaked hamlet of Walla Walla, WA. Since his debut with SNALF.com at the end of a previous century, he has continued to amuse, inform and sometimes befuddle long-term care readers worldwide.