That poor Royal Baby just can’t catch a break. What were the odds of His birth occurring within hours of an inebriated Amanda Bynes being accused of trespassing at a Los Angeles long-term care community? Focused as the planet has been on the emotional travails of this renowned actress, it’s a wonder anyone even noticed He arrived.
These two global news stories actually have more in common than might at first appear. Bynes was trying to enter a restricted area, The Baby was trying to leave one. Bynes shouted slurred obscenities as she was led away. The Baby screamed unintelligibly on arrival. It’s almost spooky when you think about it.
And that’s just scratching the serendipitous surface. When you hold The Baby up—carefully, please — next to the long-term care profession, the coincidences are absolutely eerie. You might want to be sitting down for this:
• The Baby was named His Royal Highness George Alexander Louis of Cambridge. Vivian and Mary Tellis-Nayak were named the 2013 Champions of Quality by the American Health Care Association.
• The good news of The Baby’s birth was displayed on a golden easel. The bad news about your recent survey will be conveyed in a scolding email.
• The Baby is third in line to be King of England. Long-term care is number three and climbing in the race to be Regulation King of American Industry.
• The Baby will receive funding for life, in return for doing next to nothing. You’ll spend most of your professional life begging for funding, but will often get next to nothing.
I could list other uncanny examples but don’t want to further frighten or overwhelm you. So just remember that federal regulations require that this blog post be printed on a high-grade parchment and placed for the next two weeks on a golden easel in your facility lobby. Hopefully not next to your latest survey results.
Long live The Baby.
Things I Think is written by Gary Tetz, who cobbles these pieces together from his secret lair somewhere near the scenic, wine-soaked hamlet of Walla Walla, WA. Since his debut with SNALF.com at the end of a previous century, he has continued to amuse, inform and sometimes befuddle long-term care readers worldwide.
