TSA screening could lead to colonoscopy

Jackie Vance
Jackie Vance

With all the fall healthcare conferences and other things we travel for this time of year, you might want to pay special attention to this blog!

Who knew that going through TSA could lead to getting a colonoscopy? (Though I've had a few pat downs that were so thorough that they've been close to one!)

I guess odder things could lead to healthcare screenings but this one is a real, um, “gem.” A couple of jewel thieves went to Thailand to attend a large gem show and attempted to pull off the heist of the year. Asking to see a 6-carat diamond worth over $278,000, the pair apparently switched it out with a fake and took off with the real one.

The diamond's owner immediately spotted the counterfeit and called security at this heavily guarded event. However, after fully searching the couple, no diamond could be found and they were let go.

The police, still suspecting these two, alerted airport security to be on the lookout for when the couple attempted to leave the country. They were “randomly” selected to have their bags searched but no diamond showed up.  But not so fast: During the TSA X-Ray screening, the diamond showed up in the woman's large intestine.

Kudos to TSA for getting to the “bottom” of things! (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

Now fast forward: Doctors advised the woman that leaving the diamond where it was would lead to rupture of an intestinal wall. “Removing” the diamond with laxatives could tear the wall. So the only safe way to remove this huge diamond without endangering her life was a colonoscopy.

The merchant got the diamond back, the police got their criminals and the woman got a “free” healthcare screening.

All in all, everything worked out in … yes, the end! So those of you who travel due to regional positions and those who attend these conferences, be careful what you swallow before you travel from now on (including all of these puns) as we don't know where it will lead us!

Just keeping it real,

Nurse Jackie

The Real Nurse Jackie is written by Jacqueline Vance, RNC, CDONA/LTC, a 2012 APEX Award of Excellence winner for Blog Writing. Vance is a real life long-term care nurse. A nationally respected nurse educator and past national LTC Nurse Administrator of the Year, she also is an accomplished stand-up comedienne. She has not starred in her own national television series — yet. The opinions supplied here are her own and do not necessarily reflect those of her employer or her professional affiliates.

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The Real Nurse Jackie

The Real Nurse Jackie is written by Jacqueline Vance, RNC, CDONA/LTC, a 2012 APEX Award of Excellence winner for Blog Writing. Vance is a real life long-term care nurse. A nationally respected nurse educator and past national LTC Nurse Administrator of the Year, she also is an accomplished stand-up comedienne. The opinions supplied here are her own and do not necessarily reflect those of her employer or her professional affiliates.

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