Jacqueline Vance, RNC, CDONA/LTC

OK, so any nurse reading this will probably relate, but we are so used to observing our patients/residents that we tend to “over observe” when not at work.

Case in point: This summer, for some reason I noticed a lot of people wearing sandals who probably shouldn’t be. So I have come up with a new set of rules for sandal wearing. 

1.  If four toes are staring straight ahead but one is leaning over like its saying “Heyyyyy, what y’all doing over there?” don’t wear sandals.

2.  If you put on a sock and it looks like you are wearing a mitten, don’t wear sandals.

3.  If it looks like you rubbed Vaseline on your heels and walked in the sand, don’t wear sandals.

As nurses, we also observe to see if equipment is working properly. You know, we make sure our vital sign machines are charged, our IV pumps are maintained, etc.

So this summer I came to the conclusion that I hate automatic flushing toilets because they NEVER work right. They don’t flush when you want them to. You have to do this weird potty/behind shuffle to try to get them to flush, right? But when do they flush? When you go to sit down! So not only do you get toilet water on your body parts you never want toilet water on, it just sucked down that nice toilet paper nest it took you 5 minutes to make! (So not right!)

Oh, and on vacation last summer I was taking a long walk and accidentally strolled by a nude beach. Let me just say very honestly that this is not something I wanted to see. I’ve seen enough nakedness for a lifetime already, and let me add that the overwhelming majority of people who partake in a nude beach … shouldn’t! (That is one observation I truly wish I hadn’t been able to make.)

And another total “nurse” thing: My friend pointed out a body builder-type of guy (on the bathing suit beach) whom she was enjoying, and all I could say was, “Wow, he has great veins.”

So, yeah, you can take the nurse on vacation but no matter what, you can’t take the nurse part out!

I hope everyone had a great summer and keeps on observing!

Just keeping it real,

Nurse Jackie

The Real Nurse Jackie is written by Jacqueline Vance, RNC, CDONA/LTC, an APEX Award of Excellence winner for Blog Writing. Vance is a real life long-term care nurse. A nationally respected nurse educator and past national LTC Nurse Administrator of the Year, she also is an accomplished stand-up comedienne. She has not starred in her own national television series — yet. The opinions supplied here are her own and do not necessarily reflect those of her employer or her professional affiliates.