You know you're a nurse when ...

You may have read that spending time on Facebook has been shown to reduce stress levels but now new research suggests that learning to use Facebook may have the benefit of sharpening of mental abilities on adults over 65. OK, I’m just going to ask: Has anyone out there tried to teach a parent how to use Facebook?

I’m still suffering from post-traumatic syndrome from attempting to teach my parents to program their VCR.  Flashback to “Why does the 12:00 keep blinking?” Me: “Because you keep unplugging it every night. You don’t have to do that Mom. I’ll pay the extra 5 cents a month in electricity.”

So now older adults want to be “socially connected.” Except, being retired, they see their friends like, every day. So whom do they want to connect to? Yup, the “kids.”

So, you have to help them set up a page, and then don’t even get me started on putting up pictures. For example, “Mom, you cannot put up pictures of other people looking like that without their permission!” (OK, the photo was of me, but whatever!).

Then, there comes the phone call, “Someone’s poking me! That’s disgusting — what is that?” Or, “I was tagged. Do I yell, ‘Olly, olly oxen free?’ How do I tag back? Is it a game?”

This is not reducing my stress level, Mr. Zuckerberg. Mom may be sharpening mentally but I am losing it quickly.

So, this is a warning: Do not believe this study and add Facebook to your facility’s therapeutic activities. Not unless you have some 12-year-old volunteer, with a lot of patience.

Oh dear, it’s Mom on the phone again. I need aromatherapy and a good cab-merlot blend. Now that’s my idea of stress reduction.

Just keeping it real,

Nurse Jackie


The Real Nurse Jackie is written by Jacqueline Vance, RNC, CDONA/LTC, a 2012 APEX Award of Excellence winner for Blog Writing. Vance is a real life long-term care nurse who is also the director of clinical affairs for the American Medical Directors Association. A nationally respected nurse educator and past national LTC Nurse Administrator of the Year, she also is an accomplished stand-up comedienne. She has not starred in her own national television series — yet. The opinions supplied here are her own and do not necessarily reflect those of her employer or her professional affiliates.