So, how should I react to what that back-stabbing little blankety-blank (fake name redacted for HIPAA compliance) said or did to me?
As a legendarily sensitive person with a heart as soft as Canada goose feathers, I've grappled with this problem often enough to create a handy test, which I urge you to laminate and self-administer whenever you feel righteous anger rising during any interpersonal long-term care altercation.
If you find any of the unapologetically scripted answers to be demonstrably wrong in any life situation, I'll … doubt you're being entirely honest with yourself:
Q: Is the person who did that awful thing innately evil, and even if I think so, can I prove it?
A: Maybe, but I guess I can't.
Q: Was he or she driven solely by the desire to hurt me, or might there be other contributing factors of which I'm unaware?
A: I don't know. Anything's possible these days, e.g. Donald Trump.
Q: Am I just trying to be happy?
Q: And is it possible my hurtful antagonist also wants to be happy?
A: You're starting to annoy me. But yes.
Q: Am I perfect?
A: Absolutely and completely. OK, no.
Q: Since I can't crawl inside someone's head, do I ever have any way of knowing why anything is really said or done?
A: I'm rolling my eyes, but I see what you're getting at.
If those questions don't somewhat diffuse your anger and invite at least a ripple of compassion, break the glass and use the following time-honored emergency question:
Q: By getting angry and thinking about this all the time, am I drinking poison and waiting for my enemy to die?
A: Didn't the Buddha say that? Or was it Pema Chodron? Regardless, you're right. So maybe I'll just muster a smile and move on.
Good idea. I'm glad we talked.