Things I Think

Good news about bad news

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Gary Tetz
Gary Tetz
Great. Perfect. Dental x-rays have been officially linked to brain tumors. Now I have a headache. I think I need to lie down.

Obviously, this is bad news, but probably just for really old people, right? Maybe the problem goes back to the early days, long before my birth, when the primitive dentist made a quick pencil sketch after rubbing the gums with enriched uranium.

Wrong. According to the liberal news media, “The exposures to dental X-rays in the study took place in the 1960s, when dental X-rays delivered higher doses of radiation than today's do.” The '60s? When I was just a frightened, vulnerable little boy in short pants sitting in that big, cold chair while the dentist irradiated my mouth, filled it with toxic mercury and then gave me candy? I think I need to lie down again.

How will this late-breaking information affect your delivery of long-term care? Beyond the obvious need to start meeting prospective residents at the door and running a Geiger counter over their teeth, it probably won't. It's just the latest illustration of one of life's truest truths: that what we thought was good for us was actually bad, and what we thought was bad turns out to be good.

Like dark chocolate, for instance. It may actually be beneficial for the heart, and researchers are exploring whether it can also enhance an elderly person's diminishing ability to swallow. Or how about moderate alcohol consumption? Now that it's been shown to help prevent dementia, Medicare coverage up to a two-drink maximum can't be far behind.   

Apparently if we just wait long enough, scientists will eventually impugn all our virtues and validate our vices. Although I'm dreading the inevitable discovery that water is deadly poison and salad causes socialism, I look forward to the news that playing Angry Birds lowers cholesterol.

Things I Think is written by Gary Tetz, who cobbles these pieces together from his secret lair somewhere near the scenic, wine-soaked hamlet of Walla Walla, WA. Since his debut with SNALF.com at the end of a previous century, he has continued to amuse, inform and sometimes befuddle long-term care readers worldwide.

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Things I Think

Things I Think is written by longtime industry columnist Gary Tetz, who resides in Walla Walla, WA. Since his debut with SNALF.com at the end of a previous century, he has continued to amuse, inform and sometimes befuddle long-term care readers worldwide.

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